Did you know you are about to fail big time?

According to an article I read on lifeprotect247.com, “An average of 44% of Americans make a New Year’s resolution before the night is over. Only 31% of people stick with the promises they made to themselves the prior year. The four most popular types of goals people set are to exercise, eat well, lose weight, and save money. A whopping 81% fail by February”.

According to another article on goskills.com, the top 10 Most Common New Year’s Resolutions are:

1. Exercise more
2. Lose weight
3. Get organized
4. Learn a new skill or hobby
5. Live life to the fullest
6. Save more money / spend less money
7. Quit smoking
8. Spend more time with family and friends
9. Travel more
10. Read more

I will admit that my resolutions year after year have fallen into to one of these categories.  For me it’s usually to lose weight and get into those jeans I bought on clearance knowing full well I could not fit them.  Lol.  And I can only think of one year of many that I have not been among the 81% that fail by February.  These are all great categories and definitely worth the pursuit, but, ladies, what the heck are we doing wrong?   Why are we failing?

Maybe the problem is that the focus of each resolution is for self.  Despite what we believe about ourselves, we are not as selfish as we think, especially moms and wives.  We tend to put others first and ourselves last.  We are more motivated by things that give meaning such as serving others, helping our children, or honoring God.  When I was pregnant, I needed to cut back on caffeine and salt to have a healthy baby and pregnancy.  I remember my doctor saying how amazed he was at what women are willing to do for nine months to protect their child but won’t do the same thing to help themselves.  He went on to say he has watched women quit smoking cold turkey for nine months for the baby and return to it after delivery.  As humans, we seem to respond to and are motivated by something or someone outside of ourselves.  As Christians, I believe that which is outside of ourselves is God.  1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God”.  So what if we centered our desired growth around glorifying God in the areas of our lives that matter the most?

Instead of a New Year’s resolution this year, God put it on my heart to self-examine the areas of my life that have the most impact on my whole life’s health and set out on a plan of continuous growth in a way that honors Him.  The areas that immediately came to mind were, spiritual, physical, emotional, relationship, service, and financial health. I asked myself, “What is one thing I can do to honor God more and simultaneously improve my health in each area?”.  Join me and check out one or all areas below and find one thing to do this year to improve each area or you might decide to go all in on just one. I’ve included some scripture for inspiration.

Spiritual Health

Timothy 2:21 Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work.

Proverbs 31: 30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Spiritual health, simply put is how we (individually) connect to Christ or how intimate we are with Him.  This connection should bring continuous transformation to our lives and honor to Him.  My initial thought when examining my spiritual health was to ensure, with the help of the Holy Spirit, that I am consistently doing all the things that help deepen my connection to God or draw me closer to Him, like worship, prayer, reading and adhering to the word, and fellowship.  But what about things I do that may weaken my connection with God or pull me further from Him?  As I analyzed my spiritual health more, one thing that I have been convicted about for years came to mind and that was what I watch on TV.  There is always that small whisper (aka the Holy Spirit) when I pray that says I need to filter more the things I allow in my spirit.  I have justified my reasons over the years with things like “Well I don’t actually do those things I see on TV”, or “I’m spending time with hubby”.  But the reality is, I know I should honor God with my whole life, this includes what I choose for entertainment.  If there is an area in your life that you are on the fence about, ask yourself a simple question. Does it bring me closer to God or farther from Him?  I know that some of the things that I spend time watching on TV definitely do not draw me closer to God.  This is personal to me.  There may be an area in your life that the Holy Spirit has been tugging at you about.  It could be your language, certain attitudes like rebellion, or the company you keep. Maybe you’re isolated and need to connect more with other believers to help strengthen you.  Maybe you have completely turned away from God.  As Christians, our desire should be to deepen our connection to God as much as humanly possible and long for His constant presence in our lives.  Philippians 3:8 says, “Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ.”  What a profound message.  Absolutely nothing is above knowing Christ.  What small thing can you do this year to deepen your connection with The Almighty Savior?  It could be as simple as reading a scripture daily OR as big as getting help with something like an addiction.  Whatever it is, this might be a good time to ask God to show you what He wants you to do about it to improve or protect your spiritual health.  Or simply say, “Lord, what can I do to connect with you more?”.

Physical Health

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body”

Proverbs 31:17   She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.

There are many references in the bible that connect physical health with spiritual health. 3 John 1:2 – says, “Beloved, I hope that you are prospering in every aspect and in good health, just as your soul is prospering”.  I see this to mean God is concerned about our spiritual as well as our physical well-being. When it comes to physical health, we all tend to focus on weight loss and with good reason.  A healthy weight is critical to overall health, well-being, and longevity of life. What we eat is even more significant.  But in addition to trying to live a more healthy, active life, I decided this year I would focus on getting all my preventive screenings done, such as my mammogram, a full eye exam, and dental visit.  I’m terrified of the dentist, so I am likely to procrastinate. Lol.  Anyway, appropriate screenings are just as important as losing weight.  You could be a healthy weight, and something could be brewing inside. You might consider getting an annual physical, which would include lab work.  If you are over 45 and haven’t had a colonoscopy, this might be a good year to do it.  Whatever you choose, know that God desires each of us to reach our full potential in physical health so that we may be fully useful to the kingdom.  This potential will be different for each.  Someone dealing with an illness may have a goal to simply follow a trusted health care provider’s instructions for their care.  We should also be careful not to neglect other things that may impact our physical bodies.  Working too much, not getting enough rest or sleep, lack of bone/muscle strength, or chronic dehydration to name a few, all impact our physical health.  Whatever way God leads you to take care of your body, just know He desires our best and we are to honor Him.

Emotional/Mental Health

Proverbs 17:22 – A joyful heart is the health of the body, but a depressed spirit dries up the bones.

Proverbs 31: 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.

I am a self-proclaimed germaphobe.  Ok maybe I am not self-proclaimed, but my family says I am a germaphobe and I agree. Lol. Anyway, even before Covid, I was always ultra-aware of the threat of germs, even noticing when people cough around me or not wanting to touch public doorknobs, etc.  Since Covid, I have been even more obsessed with taking certain “safety” precautions.  Lately, I have felt The Holy Spirit nudging me to let some of it go because the root of it is fear and anxiety.  2 Timothy 1: 7 says, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”  So this year, I am finding ways to “loosen” up my safety “rules” because I do not believe God wants me to live this way, putting so much emphasis on me controlling the outcome of what happens to me.  Ultimately God is always in control.  This is not to say that we shouldn’t take reasonable efforts to be safe, but I know the Holy Spirit has spoken to me and some of the things I do are zapping away the freedom that comes from trusting God.

What about you?  What is something that can improve your emotional/mental health?  Is something stealing your joy?  Your peace? Are you often exhibiting unhealthy emotions such as anxiety, anger, bitterness, jealousy, resentment, etc.? These emotions affect not only our mental health, but our spiritual, physical, and relationship health as well.  Perhaps something as simple as revving up the vitamin D to help your mood, or take a bubble bath once a week to relax, remove certain stressors in your life, take a walk daily, start journaling, find a hobby to relax or reduce anxiety like painting or adult coloring, or read an inspirational Christian book.  What about your job?  Might it be time to trust God to help remove you from a highly stressful, potentially toxic environment?  Maybe there is a more serious need like seeking professional counseling to address some deep issues you might be harboring.  Just make the appointment and go.  Be sure to seek Christian counseling.  But whatever you do, big or small, remember that God is the true source of peace and joy, which he generously gives to those who trust in Him.

Service Health

1 Peter 4: 10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.

Proverbs 31: 20 She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.

We just had a sermon on spiritual gifts at church and the Pastor asked some thought provoking questions.  One of which was “Are you a contributor or a spectator in the body of Christ?”  In other words, are you doing your part with the gifts God has given you?  Ladies, we know that just like running the household, every person has a responsibility.  As moms, we are like prison wardens making sure our kids are responsible for their chores and that they do their part to help with the house. We teach our children that everyone in the family has a job to do.  But are we holding ourselves to the same standards when it comes to the house of the Lord?  I do know that there are seasons in our lives when serving outside of the home is not possible.  But if we wait until our kids are grown and out of the house to serve, we miss a great opportunity to teach them by example. I would say ask God to show you how you can serve even during the busyness of your life. It could be that you serve as a family so that you have quality time with them all while helping the church.  Ask God to show you areas where you might adjust to make time for serving.  Also, simplify the idea of serving.  The time you serve may be that you volunteer at a huge church event once a year.  You may be in a season where you can give of your time every week.  I have discovered that there is always a small way to be a contributor.  God gave each of us gifts to be used for His purpose.  You might be saying “What if I don’t know what my gifts are?”.  A simple answer from my pastor was, “SERVE”.  In doing so, you will figure out what brings you joy, see where others affirm you, and see where there is evidence of fruitfulness. God will surely reveal our gift(s) if we simply “do something”.  I am still “confirming” my gifts. Lol. I believe I have a gift to communicate, a gift of hosting, and a gift of empathy.  I love hosting, so I volunteer on the welcome team at church.  This year, I am using my gift of written communication to write this blog. 😊  Let me know if it helps you.  I might be barking up the wrong tree with “writing”.  Lol.  I have no idea what to do with empathy. Lol.  But anyway, maybe this year to improve your service health, you set out to discover your spiritual gift(s).  If you already know your gift(s), ask God to point you to where you can use it to glorify Him.  If you are already serving, ask God to help you remain consistent or find more creative ways to use your gift(s) or encourage others to serve.

Financial Health –

2 Corinthians 9:8: says, And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others”.

Proverbs 31: 16 She considers a field and buys it; From ^[e]her profits she plants a vineyard.

Did you know there are like 2350 verses in the bible concerning money?  There is no doubt that Jesus cares about livelihood and what we do with His provision. There is not enough time to dig too deep, but what I gather is that financial health involves trusting/honoring God, being charitable, hard work, and being a good steward.  When I think of financial health, I think of stability.  But when I asked God what I should focus on when writing this….He said trust.  What that tells me is that in order to ensure financial health, we must first trust in God for His provision and wisdom.  Proverbs 3:9 says, “Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce”.  The bible also says in 2 Corinthians 9:8, “And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others”.  We should honor Him with our tithes and trust with full confidence that He will take care of us. You ever notice the things that God wants us to do are opposite of what we would naturally do and that requires faith?  I think God knows that we naturally find security in our jobs or businesses. But He ultimately wants us to recognize that He is our true provider.  If you are considering one thing to do for financial health and are not already tithing (giving a % of your income to your local church), I would consider asking God to help you trust Him with your first fruits.  If you need more understanding about the concept of tithing, seek counsel from a church leader.  If you are already consistently tithing, consider increasing your charitable giving.  Charity does not have to be food banks; it could be helping a loved one or friend in need. Someone reading this might be really struggling financially which makes it extremely difficult to give.  This is where trust in God comes in.  I believe if all we have is one can of beans to donate to the food pantry, it shows honor to God and He will take care us.  In addition to being a giver, God also wants us to prosper and be good stewards.  Some other areas could be to save more, pay off debt, or maybe God has put it on your heart to invest or start a business or go back to school.  Or maybe there is a frivolous spending habit that needs to be broken.  There are so many things I can do personally, but I would like to be more consistent with charitable giving this year and help a family member in need.  If you are a giver, good steward, and stable, then ask God to show you how protect your financial health.

Relationship Health

Romans 12:10
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

Proverbs 31: 28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her:

If you ask anyone what the most important thing in their life is, nine times out of ten, the answer will be family, friends…basically people. Relationships are vital to our whole life’s health because they are literally the way we connect to one another or to God.  When deciding what to do to improve our relationship health, it is important to first examine the connections we have in our significant relationships. Determine if there is a need to simply strengthen our connection, build our connection, repair our connection, or maybe, just maybe there is a need to completely restore our connection. It could simply be to reach out more to check in, schedule a regular lunch date with a sibling, or more seriously, it might be time to address things that threaten our connections like pride, unforgiveness, animosity, jealousy, or disrespect.  When choosing which relationship(s) to focus on, obviously, marriage, children, parents, siblings, good friends etc. would be a higher priority than perhaps a neighbor.  However, if there is conflict or tension between you and your neighbor, maybe this year you take steps to bring peace.  Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men”.  Whatever relationship (s) you decide to work on and whatever you decide to do about it, be it simple phone calls or major forgiveness, remember we can only control our own actions and our ultimate goal should be peace and honor to God.

Because my marriage, next to God is my most important relationship, it is always on the list of connections to care for. I have been working on simply asking my husband how his day was or asking him how he is doing.  We also need to work on date night, but that’s another topic lol.  In addition to my marriage, I decided this year to simply reach out more to my siblings and call my mother in law more.  When my grandmother passed away, I remember wishing I had made a lot more phone calls just to hear her voice.  To keep it real, I will need to set reminders on my phone to call or text to check on people.  and taking it a step further, I need to work on NOT snoozing the alarm until finally dismissing it. Lol. Some of y’all know exactly what I am talking about.  We all know six months and four holidays would come and go before we realize we haven’t spoken to someone.  And a lot can happen in someone’s life in that short period of time.  So go ahead and set an alarm to call, but also be sensitive to the Holy Spirit when He moves on your heart to reach out to someone at any time.  Maybe you have a relationship that needs a lot more than a few phone calls or texts. A year ago, one of my most important relationships was nearly broken and hopelessness had set in.  But God restored it as I surrendered it to Him.  I want to encourage you to trust God.  If you have a relationship that needs complete restoration and you have done all you can, perhaps your one thing for relationship health this year might be to simply surrender it to God.

Whew! That was A LOT.  Thanks for sticking with me and reading this entire post.  I really hope you were blessed in some way. 😊 I wanted to start and end this post with spiritual and relationship health because these are critical areas that we should always be concerned with.  But if you noticed, all areas are intertwined in some way. Our financial health impacts our emotional health, our emotional/mental health impacts our relationship and physical health, and our spiritual health impacts all things.  So, this year and every year, instead of joining 81% that fail to keep their commitment to a New Year’s resolution, may we simply find ways to honor God in each area producing a WHOLE healthy LIFE.