When my daughter was just a little girl, maybe around 4 or 5 years old and she did something wrong, she would try to overcompensate for her mistake because it pained her to disappoint me.  In addition to apologizing, she would try to do nice things for me as if she wanted to make sure we were ok or that I still loved her.  I remember thinking, “Omg she’s gonna be a people pleaser!”.  I was convinced that she would grow up and have unhealthy relationships with people because of her need for approval and let some Rico Suave boyfriend guilt trip her into using her rent money to buy him a whole car because she didn’t call him back on time. Lol.  As a college age young adult, she is still pretty hard on herself when she makes a mistake BUT I will tell you with great confidence that she is NOT a people pleaser. Lol.  If I am being honest, she is probably the complete opposite of that. lol.  I also remember my son being in elementary school coming home and telling a tall tale.  I was convinced he was going to be a pathological liar.  But turns out, he has a great imagination and is an excellent writer.  The lies we believe about our children from tiny glimpses of insignificant encounters are baffling.  Am I alone here?  Moms, do you or did you ever take one observation of your child doing something and panic?  I believe every mom does or has done this.  Even when they get older, I don’t think we ever stop observing and worrying.  Just this past week, I found something in one of my children’s rooms and unnecessary panic quickly set in.  It doesn’t help that I am typically a pretty dramatic person in general. Lol. So, I immediately went to my prayer closet and soon panic turned to peace.  God told me, “It’s going to be ok”.  When I calmed down, I was able to see clearly that this was merely a tiny stumbling block, or nothing at all, but not some kind of stronghold that I had cooked up in my mind.  More importantly it was an opportunity to have some good dialogue with my child.  I was able to praise God for the revelation and simply asked Him for guidance.

I was also reminded of Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it”.  As a parent, reading this scripture, you will either replay all of your shortcomings as a parent (we all have them) and wonder if you dropped the ball somewhere or take comfort in knowing you did your best.  Prayerfully, it will be the latter for you as it was for me.  I took comfort because, though not perfect, I feel confident that hubby and I did our best to parent our children according to Godly principles and emphasized the importance of them having their own personal relationship with Christ.  But this scripture does not guarantee anything.  In fact, in doing some light research on this scripture, I found a blog on Crosswalk.com that suggested it is actually not a promise of a good outcome, but more of a warning.  According to the blog post, the original language was meant to warn parents that if they give in to their child’s own will, then the child will never depart from their own behavior. In other words, if we do not correct them, they will continue in their foolishness.  Even before this new insight on the scripture, I had never thought of it as a guarantee because we all have free will, even our children.  Another viewpoint shared in the blog was that the scripture meant for parents to guide their children in discovering their gifts and purpose.  Either way, whether a promise, a warning, or gift discovery, this scripture is a clear indicator that as parents, we play a vital role in rearing our children into their futures.

I want to stop for a moment to speak to the one who is reading this and thinking of all your failures and regret as a parent.  Maybe you didn’t raise your kids according to biblical principles and maybe you didn’t follow Christ until your kids were older. You still have access to the most powerful tools and that is prayer and grace.  Forget the past and cover them in prayer today. Don’t let the enemy guilt you about any parental shortcomings.  2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me”. God’s grace is sufficient and is more than enough to cover our weaknesses.

Even with the part we play as parents, we can only plant the seeds and trust God to do the rest.  So, I decided to let the truth of God’s word drown out the lies of the enemy that wanted me to believe that my child’s life was doomed over something insignificant.  Believe the truth over lies.  The truth is there are no positive or negative guarantees of how your children will live their lives.  And since we do not know, we have a choice on what we choose to believe.  Why choose to embrace the possibility of the worst case scenario when you can choose to believe the best.

I thought about what it was like to be young and some of the crazy things I did.  Thinking back, God was with me even in my mess and somehow, by the grace of God, I turned out ok.  Our children will make mistakes and have their own journey of growth with God.   Some of the choices that they make will be difficult to watch. Now I am not saying we should ignore everything or be passive.  Sometimes God is showing us something to address with our children with a sense of urgency.  After all, they are our first ministry and as Proverbs  22:6 suggest, we play a vital role.  You may even have a child right now that is living out your worse nightmare. In those times, rely on God to guide you as a parent to first PRAY, then minister to your children with grace; then leave them into the very capable hands of our Heavenly Father.  He is able to change hearts and restore the lost, even our children and even when it seems hopeless. “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” Ezekiel 36:26.

Next time you observe something in your child, instead of letting panic take over, trust God with them, trust what you have taught them and, in your mind, like my stepfather used to say, “Play the tape to the end”.  God’s plans will prevail.  So, no matter what it looks like, choose to believe the outcome of your child’s journey of growth with God will be good.

Remember, God loves you.  We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19.

Like my good friend always says. “All is well”.